9:T1ada,

Do I have to participate in anything?

No. Participation is never required. You are always in control of what you do—or don't do. You're welcome to socialize, dance, meet people, and simply enjoy the atmosphere. Being at an LS event does not imply consent to anything.

What does consent mean in the Lifestyle?

Consent means receiving a clear and enthusiastic yes before initiating intimate or sexual contact. Flirting, previous activity, someone's clothing, or being at an LS event does not constitute consent.

No means no. Maybe means no. Silence means no. Only yes means yes.

Can single people attend?

That depends on the event. Some events welcome couples, single women, and single men, while others may have attendance restrictions or different donation amounts. Always check the specific event information before attending.

What is a “single male” or “single female”?

These terms generally refer to someone attending the event without a partner. A person may still be married or in a relationship and attend alone with their partner's knowledge and consent.

What is a unicorn?

In LS terminology, a unicorn usually refers to a single woman who is interested in interacting with couples. The term comes from the perception that compatible single women seeking couples can be relatively rare.

What is a soft swap?

Soft swap generally means couples may engage in some sexual activities with others while maintaining boundaries around intercourse. Every couple defines its own boundaries, so never assume what “soft swap” means to someone else.

What is a full swap?

Full swap generally means a couple is comfortable with intercourse involving other partners. It still does not mean automatic consent. Everyone involved must agree to each individual interaction.

What is same-room vs. separate-room play?

Same-room means partners prefer to remain together or within sight of each other during intimate activities. Separate-room means partners are comfortable being in different rooms. These boundaries vary greatly between couples.

What if my partner and I have different boundaries?

Discuss them before the event, not in the middle of an uncomfortable situation. Talk about what is okay, what isn't, whether either person can stop an interaction, and how you'll communicate privately during the evening.

Either partner should always have the ability to say, “We're done.”

How do I approach another couple or person?

Start the same way you would in any other social environment: introduce yourself and have a conversation. Don't immediately make the interaction sexual.

Chemistry matters. Conversation first usually works much better than assuming someone is interested because they're attending an LS event.

How do I know if someone is interested?

Ask.

Being friendly isn't consent. Dancing isn't consent. Flirting isn't consent. And being naked or sexually active with someone else isn't an invitation.

A respectful question is always better than an assumption.

How do I politely say I'm not interested?

A simple “Thank you, but we're not interested” is enough. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

Likewise, if someone declines your invitation, accept the answer gracefully and move on.

What should I wear?

Follow the theme or dress code for the particular event. LS parties often range from upscale club attire to costumes, lingerie, or other provocative clothing depending on the venue.

When in doubt, dress sexy but stylish and check the event description.

Are phones and cameras allowed?

Privacy is extremely important in the Lifestyle. Many LS venues prohibit photography or restrict phone use in designated areas.

Never photograph or record another guest without their explicit permission.

Can I post pictures from the party on social media?

Only post photographs containing other guests if those individuals have specifically agreed to it. Someone being comfortable attending an LS event does not mean they're comfortable having their participation made public.

Is alcohol allowed?

This depends on the venue. If alcohol is permitted, drink responsibly. Intoxication can interfere with someone's ability to give meaningful consent.

Never pressure someone who is visibly impaired into sexual activity.

What about safer sex?

Guests are responsible for making informed decisions regarding their own sexual health. Discuss protection, testing, contraception, and personal boundaries before sexual activity begins.

Never assume another person's safer-sex practices match yours.

What if someone makes me uncomfortable?

Tell them to stop and remove yourself from the situation. If the behavior continues—or if you witness someone ignoring another guest's boundaries—contact the host or event staff immediately.

Respectful events take consent violations seriously.

Is this a dating event?

Not necessarily. People attend LS events for many different reasons: friendship, community, dancing, socializing, flirting, exploration, or meeting potential play partners.

Don't assume everyone is looking for the same thing you are.

What if we're brand new to the Lifestyle?

That's completely fine. Many people attend their first event simply to observe and socialize.

Introduce yourselves, ask respectful questions, and don't feel pressured to do anything. Your first night can consist entirely of meeting people and learning how the community works.

Do we need experience?

No. There isn't an LS résumé.

Being respectful, communicating clearly, understanding consent, practicing good hygiene, and respecting other people's boundaries matter much more than experience.

What are some basic LS etiquette rules?

Treat people like people rather than opportunities. Ask before touching, accept rejection gracefully, don't pressure anyone, don't interrupt intimate encounters, respect couples' boundaries, maintain good hygiene, protect other guests' privacy, and remember:

Consent can be withdrawn at any time.

What's the most important rule?

Respect.

Respect consent.
Respect boundaries.
Respect relationships.
Respect privacy.
Respect the venue.
Respect the hosts.
Respect yourself.

The Lifestyle should be fun, social, exciting, and safe for everyone involved.

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